It is interesting how ego is expressed in a desire to control others. An ego is fed by power over others, but the ego is a mere coping mechanism. It helps establish a sense of security — that we matter in society. We realize we have little control in our lives so we try to control others hoping that it will soothe our fragile, insecure egos.
We mutually manipulate in our interactions. You learned about my problems and I learned how your day was. Driven by ego, we’re constructing impressions in each other’s minds. That’s how embedded the manifestation of the ego is in our subconscious. We have to realize impressions for what they are, meaningless.
We win arguments to win not argue. We constantly go around justifying our rightness and reasons in our heads. Validation provides an ego-inflationary dopamine kick with its deceptive, toxic sweetness. However, it is a dream and a distraction from right now.
The first half of the battle against self-deception is realizing we’re caught in it. Often, we don’t realize what’s important to us so we do things that are important to others. The second half is self-exploration to recognize our deepest values.
We run around convincing ourselves and each other of our status and importance. Who cares? Only our egos, which are comforting constructions because being mindful in the moment is unnatural and discomforting.
We chase pity and praise. We signal our virtues to look better and our vulnerabilities to look genuine. We construct and present varying self-images to win status games. We run around doing activities that we’ve convinced ourselves matter.
We have to become secure in our insecurities. We must view things from an egoless, open-minded omni-perspective.